i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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