hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
