one word: firstdatebathroomanal
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
