Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I want a musical about memes.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
