she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
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