I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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