Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
