Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
