So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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