absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
