office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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