Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
