p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
