oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
