just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
