Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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