dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
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