you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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