ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
