Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
