grandma shit on top of the toilet
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Someone came in the potted fern
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
