Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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