i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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