My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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