Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
