Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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