I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
