She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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