About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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