Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
