who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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