I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
