Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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