I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
