I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
