I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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