im drinking this country out of the recession.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
