I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
