I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
