her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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