haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
