I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
