Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
