what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
