Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
i think i just lost a toe
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Never underestimate the power of titties
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
