woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
two words...techno handjob
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
