You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
