puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
