she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
