Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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